This year, I have spent time looking at my life and evaluating what I have learned and know about myself. Perhaps it is a mid-life thing--in October I will turn 50. Perhaps, it is because I found real holes in the life I was leading. Perhaps it is because this is the first time I have been in one place long enough (6 years at the same job and 3 years in the same home) to look at internal changes rather than external ones...

About 6 weeks ago, I wrote this post in its entirety---Wix stopped responding when I was publishing it. I closed everything out and when I returned, the above paragraph was all that remained of a more than an hour's worth of work. At that time, I thought, "Well, I can look at this in two ways, I can be upset that everything was lost or I can go with the idea that it wasn't the post that needed to be published. Either way, the lost post is no more but which way will actually make me happier?" And with that, I shut down my computer and got one with a wonderful day off. It was one of those beautiful, almost fall days that we get in September. That isn't to say that whenever, I looked at this post in draft status, that I didn't have twinges of regret, but I would remind myself of my decision and carry on.

No longer is next month, my birthday. My birthday is imminent and with great joy, I have friends to celebrate with me. On my return flight from Oklahoma, my seat mates were both on the way to LA to help their friends celebrate their birthdays--all three of us strangers, suddenly with something in common. I told them that us Libran's are really blessed to have friends that are willing to travel hours just to celebrate our birthdays with us--my friends would be making the trip to Las Vegas for that purpose. The entire flight was a real joy.

Both young women inspired me. They are working hard--one two jobs, the other raising 4 children as a single mom--to make their way. In our conversations we discussed children--one firmly in the joys and tribulations of motherhood, one still ripe with possibilities and me on the other side of that decision feeling comfortable with my choices. We also discussed our careers--me established in a career I love, one has recently found hers and there other is still searching. The continuum that we found ourselves on, made for interesting discussions. I realize that it could have been so easy for me to dismiss these young women with a host of pre-conceptions; but, it would have been my loss, because this is happiness--finding joy, making connections and choosing to be open. I am confident that both of them will make their ways just fine no matter what curve balls life may throw at them.

In the past 6 months, I have been focusing my non-fiction reading on self-help books. This is by far one of the most popular areas in our library collection. It was out of curiosity that I decided to embark on a reading program. To help me, I set up a short Life Balancing book club 30 minutes before Spa Day. I had been looking to add a library component to Spa Day--mission accomplished. Note: The 10 books I order each month check out but our discussion group remains rather small--generally 2-4 people in attendance; however, what the discussions lack in numbers it makes up for in content.

The first book, that we discussed was The Happiness Project by Gretchin Rubin. I had been meaning to read this book for a couple of years. Just as I was formulating my Life Balancing Book Club plans, the book showed up in a Friends of the Library donation. Ahh, I thought the universe has a message for me. What better way to start of the book club? I really enjoyed reading Gretchin's (we are on first name basis you know--she can call me Marta, too.) delving into the science of happiness and how it related practically to the quality of her own life. Out of this, I determined, that my own posts in this blog, would be positive as my own mini happiness project. I appreciated her tactic of focusing on specific areas each month.

Next up was The Tools: 5 tools to help you find courage, creativity, and willpower--and inspire you to live life in forward motion by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. There was so much packed into this fairly short book, that it made my brain hurt sometimes. I also chose this book for our Staff Club for Personal Professional Development--two birds one stone and all. The feedback from the Librarians was the same. We all felt that it was good but it required stretches of being able to focus on the content that we don't always have. Each of the tools are concepts that are by no means original--in many ways it reads as the precepts of most religions. In our busy lives it is easy to get caught up in the minutia and overlook these grand concepts. As a staff we thought that the technique of Active Love--sending positive feels to the solar plexus of another would be a technique that we could use when dealing with difficult customers. We also found common language in being able to discuss getting into The Maze and helping each other recognize it.

The Life Balancing Book Club chose the classic self-help tome: The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale for a lively discussion. Several things struck me about this book. First off, it reads somewhat like The Big Book for AA's twelve step program. I also felt like I was being hit over the head with Christian concepts which dated this as a mainstream book. On the other side, Peale was advocating meditation and other New Age-y concepts more than 63 years ago. I found the style challenging but I also found passages that I was compelled to add to my quote notebook. Our discussion centered on the nuggets of wisdom that we mined despite the archaic style. Clearly the message is relevant today--perhaps more so as the science backing up his concepts was years away.

Perhaps the book that has made the most impact on me has been Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Ben Tal Shahar. This was a book that had been on my book shelve for longer than I care to think. Once I started into the book, I quickly became glad that I had my own copy. Feeling like a student, I got out my highlighter and flags and began reading in ernest. No thoughts of being too deep, no thoughts of being archaic--just well written, relevant and informative text. I added this to the in-house Staff Summer Reading Club for Personal and Professional Development (wow what a mouthful). I lent one of the Librarian's my marked up copy. She updated me on her progress in reading the title and remarked that she was also jazzed by the book which mirrored what other staff were saying about it. Ben Tal Shahar is the newest member on my hero list. I am currently reading his other book: The Pursuit of Perfect.

Other books that I have either read on my own or for discussion have been:

The Brain Fog Fix: Reclaim Your Focus, Memory and Joy by Dr. Mike Dow. This book is more science based and offers a 21 day plan for getting your life back on track by focusing on the mind, body and spirit each week in turn through nutrition, exercise and mediation. I have a new understanding of the importance of Omega-3s and taking at least 12 minutes a day to meditate. One of the book club regulars said that to date this is her favorite book because she felt that it offers clear, science based ideas for the need to live a more balanced life.

The Art of Work: A Proven Path for Discovering What You Were Really Meant to Do by Jeff Goins. While reading this book, I really felt that a great sense of affirmation. I have found what I was meant to do. I love being a Librarian--it is an avocation and not just a vocation. I never for one minute feel that I need to take off my Librarian uniform when I go home--it is my skin. When what you do is who you are-then you have found your calling.

The Soul of Leadership: Unlocking Your Potential for Greatness by Deepak Chopra. In his calm, clear cut no-

nonsense manner, this book resonated deep within. Chopra guides us in developing our own mission statement. As with business--if you don't know why you are doing something, then you have no path forward, so it is with each of us individually. We start developing our personal mission statement by listing our heroes--real or imagined, alive or passed.

Among my heroes are:

My mother

Joseph Campbell

Winnie the Pooh

Simon Sinek

The Dalai Lama

Thomas Merton

Josie Reyes--the Regional Administrator who hired me

and most recently added Ben Tal Shahar

It is a running list and by no means exhausted here. But these are some of the people that sit at my table.

So has all this made me happier? YES! Am I happy every waking moment? No, because that would mean that not only am I not human but also most likely highly medicated. Happiness is not a daisy that we can pluck petals from--I'm Happy, I'm not Happy, I'm Happy... For me fortunately happiness is a choice--I recognize that this may not be true for others. That I have a choice is something that I seem to need to be reminded of constantly. By reading books, listening to TED Talks, pondering what it all means for me helps me push out the dimensions of my own happiness.

I am embracing this next decade in my journey. I am looking forward to everything that I will learn on way. Life is better when we see that the glass is half full.

#Happiness #BookRecommendation #PersonalDevelopment